Happy Father's Day

I love day dreaming and reliving special moments. Today I am thinking about the moment (after 3 tests) that Brandon finally let it soak in that he was going to be a dad. It was in this exact chair. The chair that Brandon first held John Mark in after we got home from the hospital (another sweet moment I like to daydream about). In those moments I am sure that Brandon was nervous and scared, but he has turned out to be a wonderful father even though sometimes I really don't think he realizes it. John Mark is so lucky to have you as his father! From researching the right stroller to putting him in his car seat correctly and from making sure mommy is happy to afternoon playtime he is just the best. I love you, babe!

As I was writing Brandon's Father's Day card I was reminded of this post that I wrote back in September that really sums up my love for my dad and Brandon:

September 24, 2012

This Wednesday will be exactly 5 years since my dad passed away. His passing was terrible and tragic, but like most people who have been through tragedies know: somehow you muster the strength to go on (even though for a short while you think you can't). They say that when God closes a door he opens a window. My father's passing was definitely the shutting of a door, but luckily in February (6 months later) God opened a window and I met Brandon. Unfortunately Brandon will never know my father and I'm sure those of you who did know him would agree that Brandon definitely missed out on knowing a wonderful, unique soul.

Even though Brandon will never know him like I did, it's so amazing to me how many qualities that Brandon and my dad share. Some of those qualities are good (like his humor, handiness, and charisma) and some of them not so good (like his love for bantering with waitresses - while humorous, annoying sometimes, haha). The thing I missed most when my dad passed was that feeling of being taken care of. Brandon reminds me the most of my dad in this way. Just like dad, Brandon not only enjoys taking care of me, but he is good at it. From car maintenance to car shopping and from building things to product research, he's committed to helping me and ensuring that we make good decisions. We have been making so many decisions about our family since we found out we were expecting, and even though people know I love to be in charge and make decisions, I cherish the fact that I can rely on Brandon and I don't always have to be in charge.

There are many things that make this year's anniversary of dad's passing harder than usual, but the most prominent is the fact that he'll never get to be "Kram" (this will make you laugh if you knew him) to our little boy, John Mark. The only thing that gives me solace in this sad fact is the fact that even though he won't get to have my dad as his grandfather, he will get to have Brandon as his father. What a lucky boy John Mark is!

My dad was really funny and silly. This was great (even all our friends wished their dad was like ours), but sometimes my sister, mom and I just wanted him to chill out and be calm for just a moment. When we would complain he would say, "Would you like to have a serious dad instead?" and of course, we'd say no. Just like my dad, Brandon will give our children sense of security while also being a fun, "non-serious" dad - I know our children's friends will think Brandon is so cool! Brandon may not know it yet, but I know what a great father he will be. He has just the perfect balance of humor and fun mixed with sensibility and responsibility to give our children a life they wouldn't trade for the world. Living up to my dad's legacy (all his special and unique qualities), will be no problem for Brandon. I can't wait to see him get the chance!

My dad was great and Brandon will be too, but I also have to point out that the kind of parent you are has a lot to do with the kind of spouse you have. I can't end this blog without pointing out that my mother was the perfect balance to my father and that Kara and I needed both of them to have the kind of childhood we had. We are so incredibly lucky to have had the set of parents we were given. I cannot wait to put into practice all the things my mother taught me. Hopefully if Brandon and I can live up to my mother and father's example, then I know our children will have a memorable, special, happy childhood.

Getting Ready

 *picture disclaimer below

No, we aren't getting ready for anything new. When I say "getting ready," I mean that this blog post is going to be about actually getting ready in the morning (or in the afternoon, haha!). Let me start off by saying that I love being a mom and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world...

However,  motherhood has its challenges, and getting ready has to be by far one of the most difficult to adapt to. In the beginning, I was just glad to get a shower and I wasn't striving for anything great in the looks department. Yoga pants and a tank top were my uniform of choice. In fact when I actually did put on clothes or the slightest bit of makeup, people (knowing how young my baby was) would comment on how great I looked. I don't really think I ever looked that great, but people said it for probably two reasons: 1) when you finally put on makeup or an outfit that isn't pajama-ish, a little bit of makeup can make you look 10x better than you did look, so people (surprised that you're looking the tiniest bit of your former self) tend to think (or at least say) that you look better than you really do AND/OR 2) people that know how difficult the first few months can be are so surprised that you don't look like death want to be sweet to you and make you feel good. I'm just sayin', you can't hear it enough when you have a young kid, so everyone tell all the mothers you know that they look great (whether they really do or not doesn't matter). It will make their day!

So some mornings I really do want to earn these compliments and not just receive them out of pity...plus my baby is almost 4 months old now, so I really should be able to get ready and look decent without an issue, right? You'd think....unless you're already a mom and then you know better. Actually, I'm being a bit dramatic...John Mark is a very good baby and he will happily lie in his crib watching his mobile (tacky thing, but he loves it) while I take a shower. This is a pretty peaceful stage of getting ready (even though the whole time, I'm opening the shower door to peek at the monitor that is sitting on the tub making sure he isn't crying). This is an improvement from when he was younger and the crying started way sooner into the process (I call this the "prioritize what you wash" stage of the mommy shower evolution). So, I get out of the shower and he's still being good. I think to myself, "Wow! I may be able to get all the way ready today." I usually start with hair or makeup because, in order to look great, at least one of these has to be done properly. Whichever one I start with first will usually look pretty good, but by the time I start the second step he is getting fussy in the crib. This is why you will see me with great hair or great makeup, but rarely both. Either I have my hair in a ponytail, but I have managed eyeliner and maybe even some tweezed eyebrows OR I have fabulous looking locks, but smudged mascara and no eyeliner. I just can't seem to manage it all at one time. I don't really care as long as hair or makeup looks good. Here he is in phase one of me getting ready:

At this point John Mark is pretty fussy and putting his paci in every few minutes is getting old. No one likes to hear their baby cry, but hearing him fuss is even more annoying than all out crying. Here's why: when they cry, you throw in the towel and go ahead and pick them up, but when they're just fussy, you think it might stop and not last long so you keep going back to the makeup drawer hoping that the pacifier will do it's job and pacify him. However, this is rarely the case (even though every day I lie to myself and say maybe the pacifier is all he really wants. Yeah right). So, at this point when I can't take it anymore, I pick him up and move him to his next spot (see below). I turn on the bouncy seat and its music (which is a whole different set of tunes than his tacky ocean one as pictured above). This seems to lull him into a coma, drooly like stage where he sucks his thumb and sits patiently. I finish my hair or makeup and start the "what to wear process."

I don't know why I save the clothing stage for last. Perhaps it's naivety ("This time he'll be patient for the whole time I get ready, right?") or perhaps it's amnesia ("Yesterday wasn't that bad, was it?"). Anyway, choosing my clothes seems to require the most concentration (finding something that covers your postpartum tummy while being nursing friendly isn't that easy). The fact that I haven't had time to fold or hang laundry makes this process even more difficult than it already is. Here's where he gets really fussy and tired of his seat, so unfortunately my clothes get the least attention of all the getting ready steps.

I'm not saying all of this to be negative because really when a face that cute wants you to pick him up, who really cares about looking good yourself? It's just that I want people to know that if you see me and I have the same thing on as I did last time you saw me, it means that the outfit was clean and it probably provides me with good access to his food source. Also, if you see me and my hair looks good, no I didn't get a haircut, it just means that hair is what I started with that day. I also just want to remember what this age is like....I know that as he gets older some things will get easier and some things will get harder and that's just all part of it :)

*In the top picture, I actually have pretty decent hair, makeup, and I'm satisfied with my outfit. This rare accomplishment was only possible because I actually dried and washed my hair the afternoon before (which followed the process as listed above) and I pushed him to his limit of crib/bouncy seat time (that's why his face says, "What took you so long to pick me up, mommy?").

I also want to explain one more thing especially to the non-parents out there who must be thinking, "I bet she really enjoys the weekends so she can get ready when Brandon watches the baby." Yes, Brandon is great and once I told him about how frustrating it is to get ready with a baby a few feet away, he makes sure I can get ready on the weekends without John Mark. However, when you hear the baby cry, you just want to run out and help and you find yourself rushing even though you swore you'd take your time today and really indulge in a baby-free getting ready process. Having a baby really does change everything and even though I look forward to weekends when I can get ready alone, its not like you can just shut your mommy brain off so it's more difficult than you'd think. Again, wouldn't change it for the world it's just an adjustment!