As I write this, my friend, Tami, is anxiously awaiting the arrival of her sweet Abigail. I remember the anxiousness so well. Every moment was just dripping with anticipation. I had seen the sweet photos of him on the ultrasound and I had felt him in my stomach as he rolled and kicked. The idea that I would ever meet the sweet boy was very surreal. She has had a long labor already, but soon she will know the same joy that we know and that all this "It'll be worth it" stuff will finally ring true for her!
With all the excitement about Abigail's impending arrival and John Mark's birthday tomorrow, I can't stop replaying a year ago in my head. Here's a little flashback to our life last year:
There have been many special "firsts" like his first smile, first words, and first time to crawl. We're still celebrating firsts all the time. Recently he stood up for the first time without help. Each time he does something new, we marvel at it and then before you know it we barely remember what life was like before he could ___. Here's a good look at how he's grown and changed over the year...
* 12 month photo coming soon*
When we started to plan John Mark's first birthday, I started to think that in addition to celebrating his first year of life, what we really need to be celebrating is that we survived the first year. This is a major accomplishment and John Mark isn't the only one that's changed...
1. We are more efficient. We do everything we did before (work full time jobs, shop, take care of house, spend time with friends and family, etc.) and yet we find time to still be parents. I look back on the days before John Mark and I remember doing what I wanted, when I wanted. Pick up and go to the mall? Head out for dinner? Work a few extra hours on the weekend? Anything we wanted to do, we pretty much could. We somehow make it all work, but it just takes extra effort. I look back on the time pre-baby and think about how much time I wasted. If you thought I was efficient before, then you should see me now! This one really leads nicely to #2...
2. We are more selfless. Now, this one didn't come without a few growing pains. How could it not? We've only had to take care of ourselves for 31 years. Having such a tiny little thing rely on you for the most basic of functions is overwhelming, yet rewarding. Sometimes waking up in the middle of the night to give him ibuprofen or cutting a weekend nap short or saying "no" to something we don't have a sitter for stings a little, but ultimately neither of us would change a thing. This is one of those things you think you can't do until you've done it. We love him so much that it makes doing all of those things easy.
3. We are cheesy and obsessed with our child. I only post about half of the photos that I want to on Facebook, so I don't overwhelm everyone (and even then, I'm sure I still do overwhelm people). We text each other when he does something new and take videos of him just being him. We never thought we'd use our "baby voice" as much as we do. We could sit and marvel at him for a long time. Every baby has similar milestones, but you'd never think you'd care about the smallest thing like putting a paci in his mouth, drinking from his own cup, or rolling over. We love it all! Watching him do something new never gets old.
4. We love each other more and we are better spouses to each other. Before baby, we were two people who came together to spend a life together. Even though we shared a home and bills and responsibilities, there was still a great deal of independence. However, we need each other now more than ever and we are more "interdependent" now. In order to carve out some much needed alone time, to make better use of time (i.e. get out the door in the morning, etc.), and to just make life flow easier and more pleasantly, we have to rely on each other. This hasn't been easy either, but we are working on it. Being a parent can be a big stressor on a relationship, but we love each other through the hard times and I can easily say that I love him more than I did even on our wedding day.
5. Last and most important: Our capacity to love has changed. I know everyone says it, but I am saying it anyway: you never thought you could love another human so much. I really love Brandon, I really do. However, the love for your child is something completely different. I love to listen to his giggles, watch him learn, and do the simplest of things. The most exciting part of my day is when I walk in to the room at daycare, and he heads towards me in a fast and furious crawl. Can't imagine life without that little smile!
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