We Made a Person!

Back before we were engaged, I wanted to be engaged SO bad! I was so desperate to have that ring and start planning a wedding. However, the moment he slipped it on my finger things began to change. I realized just how real everything was becoming and that we now actually had to plan a real wedding. I was no longer in the daydream-y place, but in reality. There were things to do, money to be saved, and decisions to be made! We were no longer in Pinterest world where you create your dream wedding through photos...we actually had to make real decisions (exciting, but scary). Getting pregnant was a similar experience. Of course I wanted a baby before we were pregnant, but wanting a baby (the cute kind you see in commercials) and actually being pregnant are two different things. I'm sure Brandon would say the same. In fact, the cashier who rung up the pregnancy tests for Brandon that day can confirm that wanting a baby "one day" and actually being pregnant give rise to entirely different emotions...especially in men.

I imagine that a lot of couples experience the same shock as we did when they look down and see a positive pregnancy test. The thoughts that occupy your mind from that point on are so drastically different than the ones before it. However, out of all the baby things that occupy my mind, the miraculousness of all of this is definitely a dominant and recurring thought in my mind. I think that, especially because we didn't plan this, the process of how this all occurs is even more mind boggling (get your mind out of the gutter...instead, think opening credits of Look Who's Talking). It's so amazing how the universe brought part of me and part of Brandon together to make the exact baby we have growing inside. It's hard to imagine that at one point he was a tiny cell (that I didn't even know about until 7 weeks in) and that one day he will be big enough to walk and talk!

I love Brandon very much and of course I wanted to be with him forever or I wouldn't have married him. However, I have to say that the future was never as clear then as it is now. We are going to be connected for life because we have come together to create this amazing thing...we made a person! When you're not pregnant this seems so simple and ordinary (you're probably thinking "duh!"), but when it actually happens, it's an even weirder experience. The universe meant for US to come together and create this unique soul...something that is 50% him and 50% me. If you think you're connected and committed to your spouse now, just wait until you're pregnant! There's nothing like it.

These are the actual pregnancy tests that told us John Mark was on the way. The top one is the one I took first. I remember it so vividly. As you can see the horizontal line (the one that is there whether you're pregnant or not) is not showing up very well. This made it harder for my brain to fully comprehend the results even with a simple key. Of course, the other two that Brandon made me take confirmed everything.

I just can't wait to meet him. What will he look like? What will his personality be like? How will he be like Brandon? How will he be like me? I see third graders every day and I try to picture our little boy as a third grader. I know this will come sooner than I'd like, but right now it seems insanely far off. I can't wait to get to meet him and get to know him!

Keeping Up with the...Kardashians?

Ever since Irene slapped Stephen on Real World Seattle, I've had a thing for reality TV. I particularly love watching the Kardashians. I realize that they're famous for pretty much nothing, but I still love to watch. When I was watching today I was trying to put my finger on why I liked it so much and then I realized why. I love watching them spend so much time together. It's strange that they are my age and they still get to spend so much time with their family.

Most families, especially when they get to my age, don't have as many opportunities to vacation together, eat dinner together, and just "hang out" together. Even though there are events when we do get to get together as a family, the Kardashians are fortunate to have so much casual down time together.

I hope that the birth of John Mark brings even more time for my family to get together for birthdays, school plays, and for no reason at all!

Nesting: Round Two ("Faded Ink" It Is)

So in one of my baby books it has a list of things to do each month of pregnancy. Before we left on our "Babymoon," I felt a little slammed all of a sudden. The list items went from simple like "schedule a prental checkup" to serious like "register for baby" and "start thinking about the nursery set up." Well everyone knows I love a to do list so this month we have tackled making room for baby (clearing out the old guest room to be the baby's room) and, as of today, paint the nursery.

Last night we headed to Home Depot to pick out colors. Martha Stuart offers up a nice selection and we took 2 samples home. This morning we were still unsettled so we went back and painted 3 more different color swatches on the wall. After some serious deliberation (and consultation from Aunt Kara) we decided on "Faded Ink." I can't believe that in a few short hours we are finished with the next big step. We have already chosen furniture and will be picking it up later this month...it won't be long before things start coming together! Here's a sneak peak of Baby J's room:

P.S. John Mark is pretty much kicking all the time now. If I were on the show, "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" I would chalk these subtle movements up to digestion or tummy troubles, but I'm pretty sure there's more than a big lunch in there :)

Here's the second one from this week:

http://keepingupwithkristinandbrandon.blogspot.com/2012/10/labor-is-supposedly-like-box-of.html

Labor is (Supposedly) Like a Box of Chocolates

When I first found out we were expecting I signed up for all kinds of newsletters and bought several apps. I usually look forward to reading the little tidbits these emails and daily updates can offer. It's a nice way to soak in all the information there is to read on the subject without having to read an entire book (well, I've done that too, but that's beside the point). Anyway, I opened up the email entitled "Labor is like a box of chocolates" and started to read, but I immediately wished I hadn't. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or to cry when I read descriptions (taken from actual mothers) like, "It was like being slammed in the uterus with a sledgehammer while simultaneously being squeezed by a powerful vise," and "It was like someone took a serrated knife and stabbed me in the top of my stomach slowly, slowly sawed downward to my pubic bone, and then stopped for a few minutes and started all over again." I realize that this brutal honesty is supposed to be helpful for expecting women, but it sounded more like descriptions from the victims in the Saw movies than actual labor patients. Well, they say that if people remembered how bad labor was then they'd never have another...I hope this turns out to be true! If labor is like a box of chocolates then I hope mine is like one of those yummy caramels that everyone wants instead of those orange-y nougat ones that everyone barely bites before putting back.

Here is my 21 week photo:

What's in your "Nothing Box?"

So Brandon and I have been attending a class called, "Together for Life." It's for newlyweds and engaged couples. We often joke how we're a little advanced because we're already expecting (but I'm pretty sure that's not what the church would consider "advanced"). The class has been incredibly eye opening and wonderful for our marriage. We have learned a lot about each other and especially about the differences in males and females and how they live life, communicate, and operate in general.

One week we talked about the male "Nothing Box" and how men have the ability to zone out and go to their "Nothing Box." This is similar to how a computer can go into "sleep mode" - the computer is not technically off, but you have to wake it up if you want to get it to do anything. Women typically cannot go to a nothing box...our brains are running non-stop. I am no exception to this and, in fact, I'm probably an extreme example of someone who never goes to their "Nothing Box." If I am watching T.V. on the couch, taking a hot bath, or even lying in bed, I am either mentally lesson planning, reorganizing a cluttered space in my house, rearranging furniture, or coming up with a to do list of what I will do next time I stand up. Being pregnant has only exacerbated this problem - I even fussed and Mom & Kara during our attic clean out because they were stopping too much to reminisce! Little could spark my interest let alone bring a tear to my eye while I was making room for baby this weekend.

Lately, if I'm not physically nesting, I am mentally nesting and planning out my next move. I've read a lot about how this is normal, but please someone tell me how to tell to turn this off! I'd like to enjoy a little "nothing box" time before the baby comes and I have to put it off for 18 years :)

Nesting: Round One

Caldwell Mill, Sunny Meadows, Longleaf Lane, Magnolia Place, Hixson, Signal Mountain, Ashley Mills, Brook Highland...In my lifetime, my family has lived in EIGHT different homes. I distinctly remember being reluctantly recruited to be a part of the clean up, organize, pack, sort, move, and sell projects. I remember countless garage sales and even more trips to Goodwill and Hannah Home pick ups. Even still, we ended up with our last house being full from top to bottom. We had a garage that was the entire width of the house and it was just jam packed. When mom moved to Louisiana back in 2009, I moved into a town home in Hoover while Kara lived in an apartment in Chattanooga. We pretty much had to split everything between my town home (which thankfully had a full sized walk in attic) and my mom's new home. Again, a whole 'nother round of Goodwill, Hannah Home, and (this time) Craig's List sales when it was time to clear out our Brook Highland Home.

Since living in my house in Hoover, I recall at least 3 good clean outs and reorganizations. With Brandon moving in, Kara moving in (then out), and mom still transitioning to LA, I've become more acquainted with my attic than I'd ever hoped to be. Even with all those clean outs and rearrangements we still managed to be left with an attic full of stuff and three large walk in closets also jam packed. It may sound like I am complaining, but I feel so blessed to have a house full of furniture and family memorabilia. Having said that, I always assumed it wouldn't be long before Brandon and I moved on and had more room to spread out, but with an unexpected baby on the way our plans have changed somewhat. I really am at peace staying in this home (see my "Boxcar Children" post), but I knew that if we were going to have a baby we'd have to cut back...way back! No more storing all the family toys and nostalgia...

I knew that this visit with mom would be our last chance to have the three of us together (other than Thanksgiving and Christmas) to again sort and split to clear out the room we will make a nursery. This morning I really don't think any of us were up to it, but we headed up the stairs and.....3.5 hours later IT IS ALL DONE! We are sending our childhood toys with mom so that John Mark (and future grandchildren) will have toys to play with at MiMi's, Kara finally has all of her stuff all in one place (conveniently one door down from our townhouse), and we consolidated the guest rooms to make room for the nursery. Two "helpers" from Lorna Road - $30...Breakfast for fuel - $15 ...Peace of Mind & Feng Shui Happiness - Priceless!

It was bittersweet sorting through our family memories and thinking about those who will never meet John Mark (like my father and my mother's mother, "MiMi"), but it made me happy to think back on what a full life we have had as a family and how we now have the chance to provide the same kind of rich, happy life for our children. One day I suppose our children be going through an attic finding treasures and thinking back on their life thus far and how strange it is to be venturing out into this next chapter of life as the "grown up."

We're Halfway There

So yesterday we had our 20 week ultrasound. Me and my posse (Brandon, Mom, and Kara) showed up and enjoyed watching John Mark on screen for about 20 minutes. Luckily we got a DVD of the pictures and a few videos. Click play on the screen above to watch. When I watch all I can think of is 1) How neat it is to see him (yes, it's officially a HIM) and 2) How bored he looks. Of course he's not bored, but he sure looks bored to me.

It's weird to say "WE're halfway there." Ever since my body started to change and I became aware that there was something in there I've been thinking about how strange it is that a man's body doesn't change at all (except maybe for some sympathy pounds). Their physical responsibility doesn't last much past conception. I know that if Brandon told it, he would disagree. Yes, there are other less mandatory demands such as picking up my 50 pound luggage throughout our trip and dealing with my mood swings. When I'm having a bout of pregnancy symptoms Brandon affectionately refers to me as "Pregger." You'd think this would be offensive, but anything to make me feel like my symptoms are normal gives me comfort.

My students seem to be as astounded by the fact that there's a real baby in my stomach as I am. I showed them an ultrasound picture this morning and throughout the day they'd make random comments like "Is the baby in there right now?" and "When will it come out?" There haven't been any questions that border on inappropriate, but I am curious about what, if anything, they are thinking about how the baby got there and how exactly it will get out. Embarrassingly enough I don't think I fully realized all the technicalities until much later than is normal (I'm pretty sure Kara was the one who brought it to my attention), but I never knew anyone pregnant so it took a while to get my wheels to start turning. I wonder if their lines of questioning will get more profound as my stomach continues to get bigger.

I love looking at other people's pictures on facebook. I have always loved seeing people's cute baby bumps, and I hate it when people don't let me be a voyeur and limit their facebook photos (especially their baby bump pics). I've been taking photos of myself since about 12 weeks, but none have been facebook worthy. I guess when you're pregnant you don't feel very cute. That being said, here's my first share-worthy photo at 20 weeks:

Bumps, Birthdays, and Bahamas

So we are enjoying our baby moon and celebrating Brandon's thirtieth birthday. I was born August 7 and Brandon was born October 14 so for about 2 months I am "older" than him. As I said on facebook, I'm glad to no longer be a woman in her thirties married to a man in his twenties, haha.

Speaking of birthdays, it's weird that our child's birthday could potentially be March 8. It's just weird to think of it as a "birthday." One of my teacher friends was once baffled by one of her students while doing biography research. He said, "Teacher, I've looked everywhere in this book and I can't find Thomas Jefferson's birthday. The book only tells the day he was born, not his birthday." When she explained, he looked at her mystified and said, "You mean December 12 is not just my birthday...it's the day I was born?!" Now that I think about it, it's a funny misconception that I bet more than one kid has. I'll have to make sure to explain this to our son one day so his teacher isn't the one who has to break the news.

At almost 20 weeks, my bump is expanding. It may not be obvious to everyone else, but I know it...I can tell because I can no longer wear regular jeans, sleep on my stomach comfortably, and, as I recently discovered, lay on my stomach while sunbathing. I guess I'll have to settle for a front tan while in here in the Bahamas.

It's nice to see that I'm not the only one pregnant at the beach. The worst part about it is not being able to take advantage of the "all inclusive" amenities of the resort. Ordering "something fruity, but non-alcoholic" is getting a tad bit old. I'm not much of a drinker anyway, but I feel like telling people "I'm not a prude (or hungover), I'm just pregnant." I also feel like telling this to waiters when I ask annoying questions about pasteurized cheese, well cooked meat, and eggs. I just really want the chef to know that I'm not an obnoxious patron trying to ruin his culinary creation, again, I'm just pregnant. I know I can be high maintenance even not knocked up, but I want people to know I'm typically not this annoying (right?).

Back when I was pregnant with you...

If your mother is anything like my mother, she frequently refers to your (or your siblings') birth as a point of reference. When she is recalling a milestone, it goes like this: "Back when I was pregnant with you..." or "When you were just a baby..." or "Before we even had your sister..." or "Before you were born...". It's kind of crazy to me that the things that are happening in our lives right now we will eventually retell to our children using their births as our frame of references (picture those 2 kids sitting on the sofa on How I Met Your Mother).

We are about to go on our "babymoon" to the Bahamas (a free trip courtesy of Sandals because of a mistake back on our honeymoon). I can picture that in 10-20 years we will show our children pictures of us on this trip and while they're thinking "It's weird that our parents were ever young," we will be saying something like, "Back when we were pregnant with you..."

The other day someone was telling me about something that happened to them B.C. (aka "Before Children"). I know that the next 18+ years of our lives will be wonderful and happy, although different than the last 30. I feel like crying happy/sad tears like Rachel & Monica on Friends (when Rachel had to move out): It really is the end of an era!

In honor of B.C. days, here are some pictures of my parents before kids!

I Laughed Until I Cried...Literally

One other thing you don't know until you're pregnant is that the tears flow much more freely. Twice in the past week Brandon and I were joking about life with baby and, without warning, my laughter turned to real tears about the fears I am having about having a baby (we don't have any of the big stuff yet, we haven't started the nursery, how do we do consignment sales right, where will all the stuff go????). Poor Brandon thought I was faking him out, but before he knew it there were real sobs. In fact, I could cry right now if I wanted to. I think Brandon is now living in fear that they'll start up at any moment. They're not just scared/sad tears...they can be happy too. Yesterday I was at a baby shower and I got so excited about the baby that I kept tearing up (I held back) and at lunch today I also got so happy I teared up. Every emotion just is amplified because of the hormones I suppose. I guess Brandon better buy some tissue for me and settle in for the next 22 weeks!

Things You Don't Know Til You're Pregger

Brandon and I keep stumbling upon new bits of knowledge that we wished we had known prior to expecting. I'm not sure if knowing all of this would have made pregnancy/getting ready for children easier or harder, but it's still strange how much you realize you don't know once you become pregnant.

1. Perhaps the most shocking is the fact that you need to be on waiting lists for preschool before you actually conceive. I think we thought this only applied in New York City where pretentious people are fighting over coveted spots to ensure that their babies are on the Ivy League track from the moment they leave the womb. All we want is someone to love and take care of our child and keep them alive - no interest in an Ivy League Track- but it turns out we should've been thinking of this a long time ago. Don't worry, we are on several waiting lists in case any of them fall through, but we really had no idea that we'd be behind at only 4 months pregnant.

2. Consignment Sales are insanity. Someone needs to write a manual for newbies like us. We've ventured to a few consignment sales recently (yes, Brandon even went to one by himself bless his heart). The first one I walked in and out of within 10 minutes. I was so completely overwhelmed and unprepared. The next one I sent Brandon in on a mission: Bobby, Bumpo, and a Bath Tub. He came out with a bath tub. Check! Today we went to our third and final one of the season (yes, consignment sales have a "season"). This was the mother load. As we walked to the door we saw people with laundry baskets and we realized that we were no match for these fanny-packing mommies (no large purses allowed - seriously). We left with a Baby Bjorn and a Bobby. I desperately want to be one of these moms who knows what they're doing, but I think I need some guidance. Maybe we will just buy the rest of our items new...I almost wish I didn't know that consignment sales existed...they made me feel more than a little inadequate.

3. Pregnancy is a time for heightened sense of smell. The worse part about that is that what accompanies this new sense is an extreme gag reflex. Everything from watching Honey Boo-Boo eat "ketchup and butter sketti" to brushing my own teeth can send my stomach into dry heaving. Also, I come in contact with many job related smells...unbrushed teeth are definitely more noticeable to me now and I can tell you what is for lunch before anyone in the building can. I smell broccoli everywhere...even when it's not broccoli day.

I am sure we have many more lessons to learn especially when the baby comes. I just find it funny that there are so many things they don't tell you in What to Expect When You're Expecting...