We Made a Person!

Back before we were engaged, I wanted to be engaged SO bad! I was so desperate to have that ring and start planning a wedding. However, the moment he slipped it on my finger things began to change. I realized just how real everything was becoming and that we now actually had to plan a real wedding. I was no longer in the daydream-y place, but in reality. There were things to do, money to be saved, and decisions to be made! We were no longer in Pinterest world where you create your dream wedding through photos...we actually had to make real decisions (exciting, but scary). Getting pregnant was a similar experience. Of course I wanted a baby before we were pregnant, but wanting a baby (the cute kind you see in commercials) and actually being pregnant are two different things. I'm sure Brandon would say the same. In fact, the cashier who rung up the pregnancy tests for Brandon that day can confirm that wanting a baby "one day" and actually being pregnant give rise to entirely different emotions...especially in men.

I imagine that a lot of couples experience the same shock as we did when they look down and see a positive pregnancy test. The thoughts that occupy your mind from that point on are so drastically different than the ones before it. However, out of all the baby things that occupy my mind, the miraculousness of all of this is definitely a dominant and recurring thought in my mind. I think that, especially because we didn't plan this, the process of how this all occurs is even more mind boggling (get your mind out of the gutter...instead, think opening credits of Look Who's Talking). It's so amazing how the universe brought part of me and part of Brandon together to make the exact baby we have growing inside. It's hard to imagine that at one point he was a tiny cell (that I didn't even know about until 7 weeks in) and that one day he will be big enough to walk and talk!

I love Brandon very much and of course I wanted to be with him forever or I wouldn't have married him. However, I have to say that the future was never as clear then as it is now. We are going to be connected for life because we have come together to create this amazing thing...we made a person! When you're not pregnant this seems so simple and ordinary (you're probably thinking "duh!"), but when it actually happens, it's an even weirder experience. The universe meant for US to come together and create this unique soul...something that is 50% him and 50% me. If you think you're connected and committed to your spouse now, just wait until you're pregnant! There's nothing like it.

These are the actual pregnancy tests that told us John Mark was on the way. The top one is the one I took first. I remember it so vividly. As you can see the horizontal line (the one that is there whether you're pregnant or not) is not showing up very well. This made it harder for my brain to fully comprehend the results even with a simple key. Of course, the other two that Brandon made me take confirmed everything.

I just can't wait to meet him. What will he look like? What will his personality be like? How will he be like Brandon? How will he be like me? I see third graders every day and I try to picture our little boy as a third grader. I know this will come sooner than I'd like, but right now it seems insanely far off. I can't wait to get to meet him and get to know him!